Premarital Chastity

by Vince & Bernadette M. Sacksteder

In the American culture, many couples “prepare” for their possible married life together having sex before marriage and cohabitating. Movies, books, TV shows, music, and media influencers promote this permissive standard. However, studies show that both those who have sexual experiences before marriage and those who cohabitate are more likely to divorce. Cohabitation in particular is linked to lower marital commitment and a higher divorce rate. Premarital Chastity is a strategy that enables couples to discover Fertility Appreciation, Openness to Children, Marital Faithfulness, Natural Family Planning, and Dignity of the body in a natural way. Sometimes we think that chastity is just a message we preach to teenagers, but it is something each of us needs to practice every day.

Living the strategy of Premarital Chastity

Start with personal commitment. Are you determined to live a chaste life? Everything we put in our heads (movies, books, and images) needs to reflect the dignity of the human person and the sacredness of sex. We can use the way we talk to reflect this dignity, avoiding jokes that trivialize or mock sex, and looking for opportunities to speak of real love. Sometimes we can’t avoid images, especially in advertising and popular media, that is inappropriate. It’s important to think of the people in these pictures as real people, not just something fun to look at. It takes a conscious effort. Ask yourself questions like, “Who is this person?” “What kind of laundry detergent do they use?” Imagine them as your sister or brother. Making these choices, over and over, joins us to the pure mind of Christ, who looked on even prostitutes with saving love.

At the same time, consider how you treat those around you. People are desperate for someone to give them respect due to being a child of God. If you’re a man, make a commitment to honor and respect the dignity of each woman you meet, no matter what she’s doing, or how she’s dressed. If you’re a woman, resolve not to manipulate the men in your life or regard them as overgrown children. Dress in a way that encourages men to see your dignity as a person, not a sex object. We need to help the men around us get to heaven more than we need to attract their attention.

If you have children or can influence teenagers, help them choose chastity. Show them how to build healthy, chaste relationships. You could be saving them from a lifetime of pain. Research shows that children often base their sexual choices on their parents’ advice. Help your children see sex as something beautiful and good to be shared with one special person, not something cheap and casual that deserves mockery.

Honor the heroes of chastity: couples who save sex for their wedding night; single men and women who guard their purity; priests, religious, and others who are living holy celibacy. Honor those who struggle with same-sex attractions without giving in to a homosexual lifestyle. Often these people feel like freaks in our sex-obsessed culture, but they are the heroes of this battle – duking it out every day where the fighting is fiercest.

We can change our culture for the better. When you see advertisements that use sex or the human body to sell products, let the advertisers know you are offended and refuse to buy the product. When networks air shows degrading sex or promoting immodesty, write the producers and let them know you don’t want this piped into your home. Note which companies advertise during those shows, stop buying their products, and tell them why. When radio DJs degrade sex, let the radio stations and their advertisers know you are not amused.

There is a great battle being fought in our schools for the hearts and minds of the next generation. Many abstinence educators are working valiantly to spread the message that chastity is the only viable choice. You can help: abstinence educators need single people to inspire teens, and married people to show that a good marriage is worth waiting for. When others promote condoms in the schools, let the schools know that condoms don’t protect against anything (even AIDS). Condoms only reduce, not eliminate the risk, and make matters worse by encouraging risky behavior. If there is no abstinence program in your area, start one. There are terrific chastity educators and organizations that can help you get started.

Our legislators also need to hear that abstinence education works when they are debating how to spend federal money, or determining how AIDS prevention funds should be used. Organizations can invite speakers about chastity and abstinence into schools and workplaces. Most abstinence programs offer adult presentations, and many workplaces have “brown bag lunch” speakers. Employers sometimes even pay their employees to attend “how to talk to your kids about sex” sessions. After all, better parents make better, less stressed workers.

There are endless ways to help; we just need to discern where God is calling us. There is so much to be done! The rewards are incalculable. As we make chastity real in our own lives, and help others make it real in theirs, we will see our world change. Through chastity, we learn how to love as God loves. When we do, the Civilization of Love is present wherever we are.

Here’s How To Grow In Chastity Before Marriage – Catholic-Link

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